Every parent raises their child in their own unique way. One of the main things my mother repeatedly taught me from childhood, and even strictly warned me about, was never to talk about what happened inside our home outside, while always coming home and telling her everything that happened outside.
Through this rule, she was actually protecting our family from outside interference while also teaching me to be aware of events happening around me and to develop a proper position toward them. No matter how much I have grown, this rule has remained an unchanging principle for me, and for us.
Every family may have its own unique rules. However, in order to protect family unity, it is extremely important that conversations and matters within the family remain inside the home and do not leave it.
But sometimes external individuals, authorities, and states also want to be aware of people’s family matters in order to protect themselves. Because according to their perspective, the state is also a large family, and what happens within a family can affect society.
During the socialist period, this form of control existed as collective surveillance. There were people in neighborhoods who tried to gather information about people’s lifestyles, family relationships, and personal matters.
In the capitalist era, however, this issue is approached through the perspective of the “Big Brother.” Cameras, lights, various surveillance systems… Everything is monitored in the name of people’s safety.
Modern construction companies have also taken advantage of this approach, continuing the idea of collective control from the socialist system into the capitalist era through thin walls. Perhaps they believe that neighbors should be aware of each other’s lives, even their personal matters.
Maybe they assume that in this way, crimes will decrease and it will be possible to prevent divorces and problems occurring within families.
But believe me, when I wake up at 4 a.m. because of a violent argument happening inside a family, I do not knock on my neighbor’s door and say like Leopold the cat, “Friends, let’s live peacefully together.” Like me, other neighbors also do not know what to do in such situations, and we simply wait for the argument to end.
In rural areas, the concept of neighborhood in detached houses is still completely different. People know each other by name, stand beside one another during weddings, funerals, celebrations, and difficult times. Houses are close to each other, children grow up together, and adults sit in front of their homes in the evenings and have conversations.
However, despite all this closeness, there is also an invisible boundary there. Everyone understands that being neighbors does not mean interfering in each other’s lives. When the door of a house closes, that family’s own world begins, and this boundary is respected.
Today, however, in urban life, people who have lived in the same building for years sometimes do not even know each other’s names. Even when they share the same elevator, their interaction rarely goes beyond a simple greeting. Neighborhood relationships have weakened, and people have become more distant from one another.
Yet despite all this distance, people unintentionally become aware of each other’s lives. Whose child cried at night, which apartment had an argument, who had guests over, who watched television until morning, all of these have become part of the daily observations of neighbors in modern buildings.
The worst part is that people know these things not because they are genuinely interested in each other, but because the spaces they live in force them to do so. Thin walls, poor sound insulation, and low-quality construction make even people’s most private moments unintentionally audible to their neighbors. As a result, people begin judging each other based only on the sounds coming from their homes, without knowing each other’s character or thoughts.
But where can a person truly be themselves if they are not even allowed to be themselves inside their own home?